Monday, April 25, 2005

How to configure a computer, Part One

I'll just say it right now. If you're writing a program, and it's not a virus-scanner, and your program launches on startup without asking me to do so, that's the equivalent of spray-painting "Todd eats boogers" on my car. It's unnecessary, it insults my intelligence, and makes me angry. If you want it one way, and I want it the other way, you, the computer programmer, are wrong. I, the consumer, am right. See how it works?

I'm talking to you, Real Networks, and even the people at Apple. Why would I want iTunes sucking down 20,000 kb of free memory? Oh, that's right, I might need to buy some digital music as soon as I start up my computer. Just like I NEVER EVER EVER do. Or have. Or have even suggested I would do.

Let's take a look at the Startup folder of a well-maintained computer. Oh, look, there's NOTHING in it, because maybe I'm booting up to check my email, maybe I'm going to play video games, maybe I'm going to open 18 instances of Internet Explorer, Outlook, 4 Bittorrent windows, maybe I'm going to, uh, compile source code or some other random geekity geek geekproject. I need all my computer mojo for my real-live computerin'.

Freenet, I'm uninstalling you, too. I understand Chinese dissidents think this is an awesome program. After a casual perusal of what unlimited freedom offers, I'm unimpressed. I hear this program works better after 2 or 3 days of being hooked up, plus I'm supposed to poke some holes in my firewall to make it work better, too. If I could automatically mark which files/sites I could refuse to transmit, no problem. Freenet appears to be a Libertarian Bittorrent, i.e. it runs incredibly slowly because they're paranoid about security, and a large percentage of the material looks like orn-pay. Maybe even ild-chay orn-pay. There's a diatribe on the website-if I really, really believed in really, really free speech, I should just install their program even though it's probably helping distribute ild-chay orn-pay.

I don't buy that. Deleted!

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