Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Reddit complaint: No way to serve a permanent beatdown to spam sites like

I like reddit. It's a news aggregator; people submit web pages with one-word summaries. The problem is this: can't shut the hell up.

Reddit allows anyone, anywhere, to submit anything. Readers who sign in can rate any link up or down. I feel like I'm reading the entire internet, one sentence at a time. Unfortunately for me and other normal people, thinks it needs non-zero sentences, and I disagree.

Seriously,, shut the hell up. Permanent -1, all the time, in Jesus' name, boot to the head, amen.

Unfortunately, some sites worthless to me, such as, can't keep their traps shut. They, or their underground agents, keep submitting worthless links about motorcars that cost 300,000 pounds, or deformed shellfish, or 'news' of sporting events. Sadly, I don't have any of the sweet, sweet crack cocaine that makes this pseudo-news important. All I can do is send those sites down the memory hole, which I do with all possible speed.

Reddit, I know you're listening. Can I declare these sites anathema? I see that you have narrowed me down to less than a page of recommendations. Thank you for recognizing that I hate everything. Now give me the ability to automate the hate, for as long as I log in, and I'll be set.

Remember the episode of "Itchy and Scratchy" where Itchy the mouse builds a cloning machine to clone his feline arch-foe Scratchy? Itchy gets tired of manually killing the clones of Scratchy, so he builds a killing machine, somewhat like a wood-chipper. The Scratchy clones then are created, have time for half a scream before the conveyor belt moves them into the chipper.

That's what I want for, except with less time for realization of their fate before they hit the Reddit chipper.

You're smart folks, and I know you can do it.

PS please automatically detect links submitted from multiple people, and moderate duplicates downward. Thank you for your attention to detail. It is appreciated.


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